


Prompt #1: Katy Gets A Girlfriend

by whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome



Series: Letterkenny Showdown 2018 [2]
Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Autistic Wayne, F/F, Gen, Letterkenny Showdown 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome/pseuds/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome
Summary: A chance encounter leaves Katy Tripping over her own two feet.





	Prompt #1: Katy Gets A Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to vote by clicking the kudos button and liking the posts on Tumblr in the Letterkenny and Letterkenny Showdown tags.
> 
> [Link to Tumblr Post](https://whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome.tumblr.com/post/176814267030/as-yet-untitled-twowritehands-letterkenny-tv)

The Ukrainian Hall was busy, packed a little closer than normal but not overly crowded. Katy was at the bar with Wayne, Darry, and Squirrely Dan, their chairs bunched up closer than normal to make room for more folks to sit. Bonnie McMurray was doing a fine job of keeping the beer flowing and raking in the tips. 

Katy was idly watching the other patrons, listening to the boys’ asinine ‘would you rather‘ conversation with only half an ear when She walked in. Everything slowed down for Katy as the tunnel vision hit and music swelled in her head. _Oh, Fuck._

The woman was wearing a short-sleeved white button down, a bow tie and matching suspenders, an open tweed waistcoat, and drainpipe jeans that ended in turn ups over her colourful socks and low top Chuck Taylor’s. She had a hard look on her face, not aggressive, but like she wasn’t here to fuck around. Her hair coiled and curled around her head and face, framing her features and shining like a halo under the lights. 

Without taking her eyes off her target, Katy reached out and grabbed Wayne’s shoulder. Her hands fumbled as she swatted at him and repeated his name over and over, catching him on the face and neck. “Wayne. Wayne. Wayne. Wayne. Wayne.” She slid off her barstool by accident as she shook her brother’s shoulder with the fistful of shirt she held onto. 

Wayne turned to her and barely caught her waist with his hands as her feet refused to stay put under her. “Steady on, Katy. What’s got into you?” Wayne furrowed his brow at her. “How many have you _had?_ ” 

“Wayne, look at her. Look at her Wayne. Wayne. Look at her.” She leant across him to try and keep her eyes on the mystery woman as she rocked up to the bar and smiled at Bonnie to order a drink. She had a perfect smile with full, dark pouty lips and bright white teeth. _Damn, they were all too tall on their barstools._ Katy tried to climb up onto Wayne to get a better view. 

“Katy!” Wayne was confused as to why he suddenly had a lap full of little sister. “Sort yourself out! What are you talking about?” 

In response, Katy put a hand on his cheek and shoved his face around toward the end of the bar while Darry and Squirrely Dan swivelled on their seats. “ _HER._ ” Katy pointed to M.W. with her other hand and her foot slipped off the bottom rung of Wayne’s barstool. She almost fell again, but for Wayne’s excellent reflexes and strong arms. 

“Isn’t that…” Squirrely Dan started. 

“Yeah, I think it is,” Darry said. 

“ _Who is she?_ ” Katy hissed like a goose. 

Wayne answered, “Well, that’s one of the Shamrockettes, the local women’s hockey team. We saw her play last winter when they won their back-to-back-to-back ship against Donegal.” 

“Noooooooo-uhh.” Katy groaned. _Not another fucking hockey player._ “Why am I so weeeeeeaaak?” 

Dan turned back to her with a huge smile and asked, “Why, Miss Katy, are you perhaps sweet on her?” 

“Yeah, Katy Kat. You thirsty for her?” Darry shot her a shit-eating grin. If anyone _other_ than Darry had dared to ask her that she’d fly over Wayne to choke them out; but because it was him, and she’d given him plenty of shit over the years about who he’d liked, she let it slide. Just this once. Not at all because she’s too fucking preoccupied with watching Mystery Shamrockette take a shot and chug half her pint in two huge swallows. Seeing those lips wrapped around a shot glass _did things_ to her. Katy let out a whimper like a wounded animal and slipped towards the floor despite Wayne’s grip on her. 

“Fucking Hell, Katy. Are you alright?” Wayne’s voice was tinged with concern. 

“No.” She sounded pathetic even to her own ears. 

“Well, what’s the matter with you?” Ever since she’d discovered there was more than one use for the contents of her shorts, Katy had been an A-1 Smooth Operator, a regular fuckin’ Casanova. This new behaviour was so unlike her, Wayne had trouble reconciling it with her past exploits. “You’ve never acted like this before. If you fancy her, get after it.” 

An idea struck Katy. “You have to take me home. We have to go right now.” She turned toward him slung a leg over his knees so she could sit on them. 

“Wh- fuckin’ why?” Wayne hadn’t finished his beer and like Hell was he gonna leave a ¾ full Puppers on the bar for his buddies to steal. 

She grabbed his shirt just below the collar, bunching it up in her fists. “I _need_ my puck bunny outfit. I can’t go up to her dressed like this.” Her eyes were wild and wide, trying to think three steps ahead. 

“Now that’s just silly.” Wayne tried to disentangle Katy’s fingers from his shirt without damaging either. “You look fine. Just go over there and buy her a drink. Do that thing where you bite your lip. That always knocks ‘em dead.”

“Wayne, I _can’t_.” The Shamrockette was too perfect for that. She’d take one look at Katy and think _Not girlfriend material_. She wished she’d put on a cuter top, one that showed off her boobs instead of covering them so much. Nicer shorts too. She was certain her hair was a mess. Oh, god, did she even bring her lipgloss? 

Katy was spiralling now, Wayne could tell. “Do you want me to wingman for you?” he asked gently. 

She shook her head. “No, god, no. That’d be even more embarrassing.” She needed to pull herself together, but all she could think of when she looked at the Shamrockette was wedding bells and little cartoon birds flying around her head tweeting sweetly. 

Wayne raised his eyebrows. “More embarrassing than not being able to stand on your own two feet?” 

“Shut up.” Katy’s voice was plaintive. “I gotta make a good first impression. First impression’s a lasting one.” 

“Didn’t ya never not think that you might be giving her the _wrong_ impression by crawling around in some dude’s lap?” Katy froze at Wayne’s words. She looked at him like a deer in the headlights. Well, this would never do. 

Wayne sighed and leaned around Darry and called out, “Bonnie!” while holding up two fingers. She immediately came over with a couple of shot glasses and a bottle of Gus’n’Bru. 

“Please and thank you. Katy here’s got herself in a right state, so y’might as well leave the bottle.” Wayne gave her a small smile. 

“Sure thing, Wayne,” Bonnie said and winked at him. 

“Kay,” he said, uncomfortable. He concentrated on pouring out shots for him and Katy. 

She took the one he put in her hand and they knocked ‘em back, tapping twice on the bar. Wayne picked her up off his lap and stood, setting her down on her own feet. He smoothed her hair, straightened her collar and sleeves, and pulled the hem down on her shirt before laying his hands on her shoulders. 

“Look at me.” He waited until she locked eyes with him. “You’re _Katy_. You could have anyone in this bar you wanted, _twice_. You remember in grade eleven? Your lab partner?” 

“I tripped him and took him down inside a week and we got A’s on all our assignments that semester,” she answered. 

“And what did you do when the Head Bitch and the Council of Bitches tried to spread rumours about you in grade twelve?” 

“I snogged all their partners right in front of them and broke them all up.” 

He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “And the time when Reilly and Jonesy came to you about Angie?” 

Katy was laser focused now. “I walked into that dressing room and I made her _want_ me before I hoofed her in the box, and I could still make her want me again.” Her face softened a bit and she added, “I wouldn’t though, you know. I’d never…” 

Wayne shook his head, “It’s fine.” He brought his hands up and cupped her face. “My point is, that’s the Katy I know. The one who goes after what she wants. And you always get it, too. So get after her,” he tipped his head back, indicating the hockey player currently ruining Katy’s cool. 

She smiled at him and laid one hand on top of his. “Thanks, big brother.” 

They nodded at each other and did another shot. As she started walking towards the other end of the bar, Wayne gave her a playful swat on the bum. “Atta girl, Katy!” 

Darry and Dan cheered for her as she passed. They all watched her as she walked up to the woman that had her all twitterpated and smiled. Wayne sat back down on his stool and finished his beer before snagging another shot glass from behind the bar. He poured three more shots and handed them round. They all toasted to Katy and double tapped on the bar. 

Watching Katy work was usually a masterclass in flirting. As the three men observed her though, she went to lean next to the hockey player and nearly missed the bar, almost planting her elbow into a bowl of peanuts. 

They let out a chorus of disappointed noises and turned to each other. 

“That’s rough,” Darry said. “She’s usually so composed.” 

“Oh, she’s shook t’her boots, there’s no doubt about it,” Wayne replied in a low voice. 

Dan looked thoughtful. “She’s really never had an embarrassing crush before?” 

“She’s always been the object of embarrassing crushes,” Wayne said. “Not the subject.” 

“Yeah, when we were in high school, everyone either wanted her, or wanted to be her.” Darry thought for a second. “Even the exchange student, what was her name, Wayne?” 

Like Wayne could ever forget. “Jessica. Anderson.” He pronounced every syllable. 

Darry nodded. “Yeah, her. She was an _erotic Australian._ She had us all tied up in knots. But not Katy.” 

They all turned just in time to see her dribble some beer down her chin. They turned back to the bar. 

Wayne couldn’t help it. The giggles started bubbling up from his belly until they had to escape before the pressure made him burst. Slowly, so slowly, he curled forward until his forehead touched the bar and he wrapped his arms over and around his head. 

Squirrely Dan watched, disgruntled, while Darry stared straight ahead and reached over to rub Wayne’s shaking shoulders. After a couple of minutes Wayne collected himself a little and sat back up, wiping his eyes, still chuckling to himself. 

“Good buddies?” Dan asked. 

“This is.” Wayne interrupted himself with another giggle. “This is the first time.” Giggle. “That Katy has ever been.” Giggle. “Uncool.” 

Dan looked to Darry for clarification as Wayne dissolved into another fit of helpless laughter. Darry snorted as Wayne listed over into his side, shoulders still under Darry’s arm. 

“Katy was always the coolest kid in class. All the way back to kindergarten. She never really had a clique ‘cos she was welcome in all of them. You know the type.” 

Dan nodded. “Oh, sure. The kids who decides what’s cool.” 

Darry snapped his fingers and pointed back at Dan. “Exactly. Wayne and I were pretty much the leftovers. Everyone knew that we were the price of admission for hanging out with Katy. Wherever she sat for lunch was the cool table. And she always sat with us. Other kids would invite her to sit with them, but she always sat with us. And she was still the coolest kid in school.” 

Awestruck, Dan said, “That is true powers.” 

Wayne held it together long enough to say, “No, Dan. Dan, no. No, Dan. You don’t understand,” before launching back into laughing. 

Dan’s brow wrinkled. “Understands whats?” 

Darry intervened again. “What’s the one thing you think of when I say ‘social suicide’ Dan?” 

He hmm’d and haa’d for a moment before coming out with, “Beings prejudicededed.” 

“That’s fair. But I mean in high school.” Darry waited, but when Dan took too long he went for it. “Do you know who took Katy to Prom, Dan?” 

Wayne said, “This is a true story.” 

“Well, I’d assume whoever she wanted,” Dan said, puzzled. 

“And you’d be right. But it wasn’t no other cool kid she picked.” Darry waggled a thumb between himself and Wayne, who was breathing deep, trying to get the giggles under control. “It was us.” 

Dan’s face was a picture. Not one he’d want hanging in his house, but expressive nonetheless. “No shit. Yous two?” 

“Ye _p_.” Darry popped the ‘p’ for emphasis. “The coolest kid in high school went to Prom with her brothers and she was _still cool_. No one said _shit_ about it. The next year, everyone was doing it.” 

No one could pull off flabbergasted like Squirrely Dan. “Waynes?” 

“ _That_ ,” he pointed at Dan, _“_ Is a true story. Darry and I took Katy to Prom.” Wayne finally had his shit under control. They each took another shot of whiskey and checked on Katy’s progress. 

Everything seemed fine until Katy nearly tipped over an entire pint. The lads all gasped in shock and dismay as she caught it before it could fully go over, but she splashed her date with the top quarter of it at least. Katy was horrified and tried valiantly to clean up the mess with the useless little cocktail napkins at the bar. She was losing it quick until the other woman laid a hand on her waist and leaned in for a kiss. Katy’s natural instincts took over from there and lead her true. 

The lads all cheered for her again, whooping and clapping, Wayne loudest of all. They separated and the Shamrockette whispered something in Katy’s ear that made her eyes go wide and sparkle. She nodded enthusiastically. 

When the Shamrockette smiled back and assumed some obvious body language, Katy did the lip biting thing and sealed the deal. The lowbones game was tight with Wayne, Darry, and Dan all muttering “Aw, fuck yeah,” and “Get it girl,” and variations thereupon. 

Katy came sauntering up, suave and savoir faire restored. She poured herself a shot in Wayne’s glass and said, “Her name’s Mary Anne and we’re going back to hers. Don’t wait up for me, boys.” She winked and tipped it back, smiling. She tapped the glass twice and set it down. 

“Call me if you need anything,” said Wayne. 

“10-4, good buddy.” 

“Over and out.” They high-fived and Katy returned to Mary Anne. Just to be a dick, Wayne hollered out as they left hand-in-hand, “Have her home by midnight, y’hear!”

Both girls flipped him the bird with their free hand. 

“Now that’s _style_ ,” he said, admiringly. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to vote by clicking the kudos button and liking the posts on Tumblr in the Letterkenny and Letterkenny Showdown tags.
> 
> [Link to Tumblr Post](https://whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome.tumblr.com/post/176814267030/as-yet-untitled-twowritehands-letterkenny-tv)


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